This was originally given to me years ago when I owned a cat. That was before he left home and went to live with a neighbour. Winston, a friend’s cat, I am sure will agree with every word. I’ve always liked it so I thought I would share it with you.
A cat owner’s ten commandments
- Thou shalt not feed me the same food twice.
- Thou shalt not tell me what to do – EVER.
- Thou shalt not sit on my chair without my permission (nor wilt thou even think of making the bed just because thou hast finished lying in it!)
- Never wilt thou complain if I sharpen my claws on the cabriole legs of thine antique Chippendale’s.
- Thou shalt remember that I need to be let out at 2am and back in at 5am, nor shalt thou object to my nocturnal singing, fighting or colleagues in the yard.
- Thou shalt, on winter days, remember that the space in front of the fire is reserved unto me alone, not shalt thou grumble about muddy footprints on thy car’s bonnet!
- Thou shalt not buy a dog – at least not one with teeth and legs.
- Thou shalt never put a lid on the goldfish bowl, rev the car when I am under it, nor feed the birds until I have positioned myself in the garden!
- Remember, when thou shufflest unto thy refrigerator at night, that I shall be verily underfoot, nor canst thou open it, however silently, without me knowing.
- Thou shalt study all the above and keep to them faithfully all thy days, or truly I shalt leave fur on thy best suit and piddle in places thou didst not even know thou hadst.