the umbrella wielder

To date I’ve tried to keep my blog rant-free but after several days of rain I am nearly at boiling point. Unfortunately you can’t avoid umbrellas when it’s raining but why is it the people holding them suddenly turn into inconsiderate twats.
For example, last night I walked home along my usual route. There were umpteen dozen people walking down the street under the shop verandas all with their umbrella’s up. Obviously someone has not told them that you don’t get wet when you are under cover. So my walk home ends up something akin to a horizontal street slalom dodging all the umbrellas.
There are a couple of special types of umbrella wielders that one must be aware of. The first is the broken umbrella owner. These people usually have one or more protruding umbrella spokes. As the spokes are not covered in fabric they are hard to spot, and unfortunately they are usually at head level. Another type of umbrella wielder is the golf player. Their umbrellas are brilliant for keeping them and the golf trolley dry on the golf course but do they really need to bring it into the work environment? The ones I saw last night were big enough to shelter an entire family underneath!
Then there’s the complete halt owner who will come to an abrupt halt in the middle of a street either to wait until they can cross the road or to start a conversation with a long-lost work colleague.  You really have to be careful of this type of umbrella owner especially if they also belong to the broken umbrella group.
As for me, living in New Zealand’s windiest city, I gave up owning an umbrella years ago. I now rely on fast feet, sneakers with no holes, and a good raincoat.


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